Tag: Relocating

Downsizing Offers a Fresh Start for Older Adults

Kaye Appleman and her husband at the home they have owned for more than 30 years in Bethesda, Md. They are moving to a condominium nearby. The New York Times

By Harriet Edleson

For Dianne Welsh, 63, downsizing from her 3,400-square-foot home to a nearby two-bedroom bungalow did not happen instantly. It was at least 30 months from start to finish.

“I’m a very organized person,” said Ms. Welsh, a long-divorced government contractor who still works part time in health communications.

She started going through closets and drawers, getting rid of “quite a bit,” she said. But there was more. “Where did all this come from? It was way more than I thought.”

Like others at or near traditional retirement age — either retired or thinking about it — Ms. Welsh wanted to simplify her life. An estimated 4.2 million retirees moved to a new home in 2014, according to a Merrill Lynch and Age Wave report, “Home in Retirement: More Freedom, New Choices.” Over all, 64 percent of retirees expect to move at least once during retirement.

But after living in the same house for 35 years — the home where she had raised three sons — downsizing, she said, was “definitely a big stress.”

Deciding what to do with a lifetime of possessions poses a multitude of questions and typically triggers a range of emotions.

“It’s disruptive,” said Steven A. Sass, a research economist at the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College. It can mean moving away from “your life, your neighborhood,” he said.

“The earlier you do it the better, physically, socially and financially,” Mr. Sass said. “It’s giving up something today for something you want or need.” The payoff is often a fresh start, lower living expenses, less house-related work, a different lifestyle with more amenities and more freedom to travel.

One of the first things to think about, experts say, is how you would like to live the next part of your life. It’s an opportunity to reflect on where you have been and where you are going.

Downsizing is more than a physical change. For some people, it’s an opportunity to create a new life in a new space. “Getting rid of stuff was so liberating,” Ms. Welsh said.

The actual process usually takes longer than expected. Possessions can be difficult to throw away, donate or sell. The best strategy is to plan well ahead. Even before you put your home on the market, “inventory your existing furniture, art and accessories and determine their use in the redesigned space,” said Dana Tydings, owner of Tydings Design in Laytonsville, Md.

Consider having your possessions appraised to determine their value. Be prepared for appraisals that may be far less than you expected. This is especially important for antique furniture, silver and accessories. Many prized items of an earlier era are almost worthless these days.

Parting with possessions is easier for some than others. “It’s the memories and the life that we lived there,” Ms. Tydings said. “I tell them, ‘You will create new wonderful memories in your new space,’ and that seems to make them happy.”

Kaye Appleman and Edward Mopsik are moving from their home of almost 33 years in Bethesda, Md., to a two-bedroom, two-bath condominium just two miles away. They are trading a house with a yard for “communal living,” no longer worrying about things like stairs and mowing the lawn in exchange for a place with lots of amenities, including indoor and outdoor pools.

Though a number of their friends have moved to the golf haven of Pinehurst, N.C., the couple said they didn’t want to uproot themselves. “I didn’t want to move to a new location,” Ms. Appleman said. “There’s a familiarity.”

How do you pare down your possessions? “You do it step by step by step,” said Ms. Appleman, a clinical social worker in her 60s who retired about 10 years ago. For her husband, 72, an oral surgeon who retired in August, parting with most medical books was practical since he can read much of what he needs online.

Many things they found in the attic, like high school yearbooks, also had to go. “We didn’t know they were there; we didn’t want to keep them,” Dr. Mopsik said. “They were gone out of our life close to 30 years.”

But they decided not to part with some antiques inherited from Ms. Appleman’s mother. They are also keeping several clocks for their new home.

“You’re empowering yourself because you’re enabling yourself to make the decision about things,” said Gary W. Small, director of the UCLA Longevity Center and president of the American Society for Geriatric Psychiatry. “It frees us up when we discard things.”

But don’t discount the pain involved. The difficulty in discarding things can be rooted in mortality and the realization that no one lives forever. At a certain point in life, there is more past than future, and that, in itself, can be daunting.

“We’re all mortal,” Dr. Small said. “The issue is balance.”

Older people want to keep in touch with the past, yet “you can’t hold onto all things,” he said. “One of the upsides to downsizing is it allows us to live more in the present.”

Going through a lifetime of possessions may require professional assistance. Not everyone is comfortable, for example, with selling items on eBay. Figure out which pieces family members might want and which to sell, donate or keep. Consider archiving children’s drawings and photographs digitally. Some opt for an “estate” sale, garage sale or yard sale, depending on what they have.

“It brings up all kinds of emotional issues,” said Susan Levin, who’s move management company that helps older adults and others with relocation and downsizing. “It’s not just moving things but the emotional letting go.”

Older people want to keep in touch with the past, yet “you can’t hold onto all things,” he said. “One of the upsides to downsizing is it allows us to live more in the present.”

Going through a lifetime of possessions may require professional assistance. Not everyone is comfortable, for example, with selling items on eBay. Figure out which pieces family members might want and which to sell, donate or keep. Consider archiving children’s drawings and photographs digitally. Some opt for an “estate” sale, garage sale or yard sale, depending on what they have.

Many people hang on to more possessions than they ultimately desire. “People think they want the stuff initially but later on they don’t care,” said Deborah Heiser, an applied development psychologist in Great Neck, N.Y., and co-editor of the book “Spiritual Assessment and Intervention with Older Adults: Current Directions and Applications.” They might store things for three months, she said, then decide they don’t want them. Once they have found a “new life,” she said, they usually want to dispose of them one way or another.

And for many people, the move is ultimately liberating. “It’s a new adventure,” Dr. Mopsik said. “This is far more positive than negative.”

7 Things You Should Know About Downsizing

An estimated 4.2 million retirees move to a new home each year, according to a Merrill Lynch and Age Wave report, “Home in Retirement: More Freedom, New Choices.” Over all, 64% of retirees expect to move at least once during retirement.

Most older adults downsizing needs are considerable because we have lived in our current residence 30, 40 or more years. As such, we’ve accumulated vast quantities of furnishings and treasured belongings. Organizational and physical tasks associated with planning and effecting relocating are complicated and, too often, daunting for our entire family.

When we decide to relocate from the comfort and familiarity of our longtime home to smaller and safer quarters, the path is generally kinda foggy. Evaluation requires a cool head and a clear unblinking look at a host of real life issues that transform to an easier and more enjoyable life. The right choice and the easy choice might not be the same.

 

1. Health: Neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and Huntington’s, failing eyesight, deteriorating balance, forgetfulness, low stamina and/or a combination of other health issues are signals that a change in residence might be beneficial to our comfort and well-being.

2. Finances: Reduced costs and less stress are precisely what the majority of seniors seek. Special needs for cash for continually increasing costs of healthcare, household taxes, insurance and maintenance are significant factors to be considered. Reducing square footage equates to lower costs of heating, cooling and keeping our home well-lighted. A smaller, or no, yard means less personal toil and eliminating the bucks associated with yard maintenance crews. Letting go allows us to live in the present. Funds resulting from downsizing add to our long-term financial security.

3. Safety: A safe and secure home is paramount to good health and happiness. When falls, driving mishaps, bruising, stumbling, etc. begin to occur, one’s safety is at risk. It’s time to consider updating living arrangements.

4. Hygiene: Neglect of personal care and hygiene are likely signs for needed help…the kinds for which a proud person is reluctant to ask. If a once impeccably attired person begins wearing the same clothing repeatedly until they become soiled and smelly, that’s a definite signal that help is needed.

5. Housekeeping: If dishes, laundry and other habitually well-managed household practices are declining, living on one’s own might be neither sanitary nor safe.

6. Meals: If one is losing weight, failing to shop for food regularly and/or is routinely retaining spoiled foods, proper nutrition is a concern. Diet neglect leads to an array of health problems.

7. Social Life: As we age, our circle of friends often diminishes. A well-chosen senior community potentially offers expanded friendship opportunities and social activities to improve our quality of life and social well-being.

Real Estate Relief for Older Adults

By Joanne B. Simms

Selling a primary residence, whether downsizing or otherwise, can be a daunting experience, especially for folks who haven’t done it in a long while. This is typically the situation with older adults, who have been in the “family home” for 40 or 50 years.

Carolyn Ambrose is a Certified Seniors Real Estate Specialist focusing on transactions that involve seniors, their children and their families. Approximately 75 per cent of her clientele are over 50 years of age. She understands the needs of seniors and draws upon the expertise of CPAs, estate planners and lawyers.

“It’s all about understanding the features of each generation,” she says. Each has to be treated with a different type of marketing and communication.” She says younger seniors tend to be comfortable with cellphones and messaging, while older ones tend to be technologically challenged. “They don’t text. They prefer to communicate by speaking on the phone or face-to-face. My job is to simplify the process as best I can, so I ask them how they’d like to communicate.”

Next, she evaluates the nature of the transaction. Downsizing and moving into a smaller less demanding residence is oftentimes the case. Maintaining the old home becomes too challenging physically and financially. Also, compelling health issues demand a change in lifestyle.

Organizational and physical tasks associated with planning and implementing relocating can be complicated and unnerving for the entire family. “With people like that you have to be very careful,” says Ambrose. “They sometimes feel they’re losing their independence, so it’s a very emotionally charged situation.” Senior Move Managers typically enter the picture at this juncture. They are specifically trained to assist older adults and their families during “aging-in-place” and/or residential downsizing and relocating.

Options is the pivotal issue with their clients. Few seniors and their families are familiar with the varying nuances and selections of independent or assisted living communities when the need arises. Ambrose partners with Senior Move Managers to provide detailed comparisons within the senior clients’ parameters, such as location, amenities, lifestyle, cost, services levels, medical care, etc. All are certified members of National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM), which has 985 branches in the USA and Canada.

Oftentimes, adult children will accompany their parents in an advisory role. While Ambrose acknowledges the kids extra support, she says most of her clients want to make the financial decisions on their own and she respects their wishes.

“That’s something I ask my older clients when I meet them for the first time. Do you have your family’s support in this move and would you like them involved in the process? Ultimately, if that 74-year-old, who has hired me to do the job for them doesn’t want family interference, I can’t involve the kids and/or other family members.”

Ambrose says she keeps that thought in mind even when one of the children has Power of Attorney. “That Power of Attorney is involved in every stage of negotiation, every conversation and every signing but, ultimately, it’s the owner you’re representing and you don’t want them to feel they’re being left out of any conversation.”

At Walker-Hamm Realtors, Gwen Williams and her partner George Price, too, have a large senior clientele. They emphasize that “later-in-life transactions require extra care and consideration.” You have to be mindful of the history they have in their home,” says Price. “Their kids were there too. There’s an emotional connection to the home and this is a big deal to all parties involved.”

“What do I do next?” is a familiar refrain, says Williams. She tells her older clients to tidy up the place and clear away the clutter. And that often means sifting through family mementoes, keepsakes and photos. This is an emotional and time-consuming process when the kids and/or the rest of the family can pitch in. “I always caution people that it’s going to take longer than they think,” says Williams, “because they run into sorting and packing. Everything has a story. You’re making decisions on who gets what and where it goes.” They also have to be mindful that the children aren’t necessarily desiring their parents’ furnishings, etc. They’ve established a lifestyle of their own.

When it comes to negotiations, Price agrees with Ambrose. It’s common for parents to bring their children to the real estate office, often with mixed results. “Lot of times, they ask for advice and some children are really good. They step back and say, ‘Mom and/or dad can deal with this.” On the other hand, you run into the ones that are trying to push parents in a certain direction and there’s resistance. They’re pushing for a decision and they’re impatient. With seniors, I find you need to give them space and time to make the decisions.”

The children can be overly argumentative in the mistaken belief they are protecting the parent. “Sometimes, I’ve had to go and have a private conversation with the children because ultimately my representation is to the owner on the title, which is usually the parents.”

Gloria Phillips represents Reed Homes Realty. Like the others, half her clientele are 50 years of age and over. She starts seeing kids advising their parents at a later age, when the parents are in their 70s. “That’s the biggest obstacle that we come across – the children being very protective of Mom and Dad . . . and I’m exactly the same way,” says Phillips. “I’ve got my 78-year old Dad with me and I’m very protective of him, so I understand their concern. You do have to work with the adult children, but the adult children have to understand that, by law, we have to deal with the people who are the owners.”

“I believe everybody needs to be treated with respect,” adds Ambrose. “Everybody has an opinion. It’s a conversation. If their adult child doesn’t like my style or my pricing, they’re free to get another quote.”

As for seniors surviving these later transactions, “I think they should ask a lot of questions and take their time making decisions,” says Ambrose. “And, above all, they shouldn’t feel they’re being rushed. Good communication is absolutely critical and we need to trust each other,” she says. The Senior Move Managers and I work with have the highest of ethics and compassion for our clients.”

*Joanne B. Simms is a Certified Health Advocate. She specializes in older-adults care. She applies her many years of practical field experience to teaching others how to navigate the landscape of older adult healthcare and senior housing.

Getting Organized

Did you know that an estimated 4.2 million retirees move to a new home each year? Merrill Lynch and Age Wave reports that fact in “Home in Retirement: More Freedom, New Choices.” Over all, 64 percent of retirees expect to move at least once during retirement.

As such, getting organized for downsizing for a new home is crucial. Having lived in our current residence 30, 40 or more years, we’ve accumulated vast quantities of furnishings, keepsakes and treasured belongings. Most of which have emotional attachments. Deciding how and to whom to distribute them is, in all likelihood, a logistical nightmare for the entire family.

In “Getting Organized,” Barb Gustafson says downsizing is the perfect opportunity to shed ourselves of much of the clutter we’ve amassed over decades.

The proven step-by-step process starts by having a purpose in mind that fits your needs for each room in your new home. This should help you decide what you truly don’t need and what to bring forward. Take measurements or have the square footage of each room to create floor plans and furniture arrangements. Carry a copy for handy reference, if you’re out shopping, especially when selecting larger pieces.

Start sorting and downsizing today. Begin by going through each room one at a time, one item at a time. Create and categorize sorting bins and label as Keep, Donate, Sell, Recycle or Garbage. Ask yourself, “Do I love it, use it or need it?” Qualified items to keep are either practical, beautiful or inspirational. Stop saving the good stuff for special occasions. Treat yourself to the best every day. Items with sentimental attachment worth creating a space for are worth saving.

You may have twice as many duplicate items as you need. Release and pass them on to someone who does. An outlet that accepts donations or a consignment store are two options. Consider replacement versus repair costs of broken items you haven’t used in over six months. Purge what doesn’t belong in your vision, and value what’s left. Remind yourself they’re just objects. In the end, you won’t miss them.

When sorting clothes, let go of anything that doesn’t fit or that you haven’t worn in the past two years that may not best complement you. Chances are they probably never will.

Paper is the number one source of clutter. Gather up all your documents, files and bills and sort into six piles, subsequently creating folders for each. Bills, bank statements, pay stubs / investments / tax returns & supporting docs / insurance policies, home & car ownerships / warranties, user manuals / will, birth & marriage certificates. Store folders in an easily accessible, portable, waterproof folder box. Shred anything that’s trash.

Simplifying our lives gives us time and energy to do the things that really matter to us.

If you feel overwhelmed or don’t have the time to declutter on your own, request help. Get the family involved or hire a professional organizer.

Whether your move is imminent or in the future, it’s never too early to get organized. With less clutter in your home – and your life – you’ll feel lighter, freer and better equipped to begin new adventures.

Barb Gustafson is a Professional Organizer and Interior Decorator based in Victoria, BC.